英语二人幽默对话
刘耀文的大沙雕
钟意阿满
简单又搞笑的两人英语对话
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 。
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
这组对话只有看到最后才好玩，有趣。
A:I want some envelopes,please.。
B:Do you want the large size or the small size?。
A:The large size,please.。
Do you have any writing paper?。
B:Yes,we do.
I don't have any small pads.。
I only have large ones.。
Do you want a pad？
A:Yes,please.
And I want some glue.。
B:A bottle of glue.。
A:And I want a large box of chalk,too.。
B:I only have small boxes.。
Do want one?
A:No,thank you.。
B:Is that all?
A:That's all,thank you.。
B:What else do you want?。
A:I want my change.。
一简单搞笑的英语两人情景对话
A:Hello, I'm Ben. May I ask you some questions?。
B:Sure.
A:What is your father's name?。
B:Happy!
A:Then, What is your mother's name?。
B:Smile!
A:Are you joking?。
B:No! That's my sister! I am Kidding. By the way, are you a census。
staff?
A:Of course not.。
B:Go ahead.
A:OK. Your name is Kidding!。
一段对话
Napolan and his soldiers（拿破仑这个单词我记不清楚了） 众士兵排列整齐的上。
M: Attention.（立正） Turn right/left. Quick time, march!（齐步走） (吹哨)。
Halt!(立定) Turn right/left. At ease!(稍息).Dismiss!(解散)。
M: Hello!Everyone! This is Sam. He is Swede. Today he join us. Let's give。
him a warm welcome!。
Ss: Welcome! Welcome! (握手、拍肩 和他打招呼，但是他摇摇头) M: He doesn't know French at all.。
Ss: What a pity!。
A: I hear Napolan will be here in a month.。
M: What shall we do?。
B. I hear N often asks three quenstions. and often in an order. The first。
one is
the Amry?
M: All of us have no problem except Sam. He doesn't know French.。
What
shall we do?
B. I have an idea. From now on all of us teach him the three questions at。
any time.
Ss: Good!
各种场合：
睡觉: A: Sam. How old are you?。
Sam:21.sir!
A: How long have you been in the Army?。
Sam: 3 years sir!。
A: Did you join any of my two compaigns?。
Sam: Both.sir!
吃饭:B:Sam. How old are you?。
Sam:21.sir!
B: How long have you been in the Army?。
Sam: 3 years sir!。
B: Did you join any of my two compaigns?。
Sam: Both.sir!
跑步：C:Sam. How old are you?。
Sam:21.sir!
C: How long have you been in the Army?。
Sam: 3 years sir!。
C: Did you join any of my two compaigns?。
Sam: Both.sir!
.....
Ss: We believe that's no problem at all.。
N is coming. N is coming.。
(众士兵立正)
N: Hello! Everyone. How are you?。
Ss: Fine. Thank you!sir!。
Sam 在哆嗦，引起了拿破仑的注意。
N: （走到他的面前）Well. How long have you been in the Army? Sam: 21 . sir.。
N: (非常吃惊的) How old are you?。
Sam: (非常自信的) 3 .sir.。
N: (生气的) Either you or I am mad!!!!。
Sam:(洋洋得意的)Both. sir!!!。
Ss: My god!!!
抱起亚轩找小葵
英语二人幽默对话
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。)。
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
大圣杰锅是
跪求一篇简短的两人搞笑英文对话
One day, a village idiot won the first prize in the lottery(彩票). 。
“How did you guess the lucky number?” asked his neighbor. 。
“Well, three times, I dream of seven; so I figure it out that three times seven are twenty-four, and I bought the ticket with number 24 then I won the first prize.”
“Why, you blamed fool (你这个傻瓜！). Three times seven is twenty-one not twenty-four.”
“Is that so?” said the village idiot, Well, twenty-four won, anyway.”
参考资料：http://www.sowerclub.com/ViewTopic.php?id=138159 。
经典对话一：
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I’d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 。
经典对话二：
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don’t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven’t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with a demon... 。
Demon: Why so glum?chum? 。
Guy:?What do you think??I'm in hell. 。
Demon:?Hell's not so bad.?We actually have a lot of fun down here...you a drinkin' man? 。
Guy:?Sure,?I love to drink.?Love the drinks. 。
Demon:?Well you're gonna love Mondays then.?On?Mondays that's all we do is drink.?Whiskey,?tequila,?Guinness,?wine coolers,?diet tab, and fresca...we drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! 。
Guy:?Gee炉hat sounds great. 。
Demon:?You a smoker? 。
Guy: You better believe it!?Love the smoking. 。
Demon:?Alright!?You're gonna love Tuesdays.?We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out.?If you get cancer - no biggie - you're already dead remember? 。
Guy:?Wow...that's...awesome! 。
Demon:?I bet you like to gamble. 。
Guy:?Why?yes?as a matter of fact?I do.?Love the gambling. 。
Demon:?Cause Wednesday you can gamble all you want.?Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever...?If you go Bankrupt...well you're dead anyhow. 。
Demon:牋 You into drugs? 。
Guy:?Are you kidding??Love drugs! You don't mean... 。
Demon:?That's right!?Thursday is drug day.?Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack. or smack.?Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want烬nd if ya overdose - that's right - you're dead - who cares!?O.D.!! 。
Guy:?Yowza!?I never realized Hell was such a swingin' place!! 。
Demon: You gay? 。
Guy:?Uh?no.
Demon:?Ooooh?(grimaces) you're really gonna hate ChatGPTs.。
小韩在追星
求英语幽默短对话（二人组）
一、Customer： Give me a hot dog.Waiter： With pleasure.Customer： No, with mustard.顾客：来个热狗。侍者：很高兴。顾客：不要，加上芥末。（注：英语中with pleasure是“很高兴”的意思。这位顾客把pleasure当成调料了。怪不得他说不要pleasure,要芥末呢。）二、Teacher： Now class, whatever I ask, I want you all to answer at once. How much is 6 plus 4？Student： At once！老师：全班同学听着，不管我问什么，你们都要马上回答。6+4等于几？学生：马上。
小韩在追星
求英语二人搞笑对话
Money is not everything. There‘s Mastercard & Visa. 。
钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡. 。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 。
每个人都应该热爱动物, 尤其是煮熟的. 。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 。
要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡. 。
Love the neighbor. But don‘t get caught. 。
要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道. 。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful。
man , there are two. 。
每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人. 。
每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个. 。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 。
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛. 。
The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 。
聪明人都是未婚的,结婚的人很难再聪明起来. 。
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 。
成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚. 。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 。
不要等明天交不上差再找借口, 今天就要找好. 。
Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 。
爱情就象照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养. 。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause。
children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外, 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩. 。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. 。
"现在的梦想决定着你的将来",还是再睡一会吧. 。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 。
应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来. 。
"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? 。
"努力工作不会导致死亡!"不过我不会用自己去证明. 。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! " 。
工作好有意思耶! "尤其是看着别人工作." 。
God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 。
神决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地. 。
When two‘s company, three‘s the result! 。
两个人的状态是不稳定的 , 三个人才是! 。
A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting。
th e view.
服饰就象铁丝网,它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看. 。
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you。
forget. T he more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 。
学的越多,知道的越多, 知道的越多,忘记的越多,。
忘记的越多,知道的越少, 为什么学来着?! 经典对话一：男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？） 女：Actually I'd rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。) 经典对话二：男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？） 女：Why? Don't you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？） 经典对话三：男：I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 女：I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。） 经典对话四：男：Is this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？） 女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。） 经典对话五：男：Haven't I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？） 女：Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因） 经典对话六：男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？） 女：Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。） 经典对话七：男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。） 女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开。